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| I am in the school library with the gayest person in my school : Victoria. Yes she is just the biggest FAG.
But not really.
Ok, yes. I guess she is.
Anyway prose:
They said I was a problemed child. Idiot who didn't believe. I made
every simplicity, the most difficult thing. I rephrased God's word,
just so I could make sense in it.
Was I?
I've asked myself many questions before, but never have I questioned my
own sanity. Even as I searched in my pool of uncertainty for a clean
mug - to make some coffee in. I thought I needed to clear my mind
and decipher things that had no meaning. I knew I wasn't
very good at telling stories, but baby I could lie my ass off. I
sip my coffee, out of my mug hazed in confusion. I was bemused, for
once.
Was I a problemed child?
I never thought of it as rephrasing, but making it make sense
right? How can you see something thats unseeable, or believe
something that has never been proved.
But I tell myself one day at a time. One day they'll understand I'm not
problemed, but guided in the right way. Why must I be crazy for
analyzing something that I didn't understand. " But you're only a
child! You can not lead yourself. " this coming from the same people
who told me to be my own person! Are you now turning against my too?
Looking down upon me? Am I beneath you because I do not believe in
something that doesn't make sense?!
I will turn my back on you too, but before I go I need you to know.
I'm human, I'm not perfect.
I'm not perfect, I'm only human...
and I'm only trying to find myself.
- Ashley N. Harmon
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Dress-Up Doll [ WATCH OUT! IT RELIGIOUS! I'm sniffing withered roses, which have
hit flaked, and fecal dusts.
I see my role for today is a house keeper,
but why haven't I cleansed myself?
You've dragged me fourteen year long miles,
and forced me into countless religions,
bemused, what can I believe in?
Glaring me, through azure eyes
to you I am so stupid,
answerless questions coating,
wrapping, invading, you're mummified
in the belief of my stupidity.
You've made me your
dress-up rag doll,
saint days ago, until risen and
being dressed differently.
Now, I'm this "Buddhist",
I worship this doll, I love this doll,
I'll die for this doll.
But will I tomorrow?
No.
"Christian" I believe this book,
the disciples, the Messiah, yes;
this will set me free.
Not
Limited by the 10 commandments, and being
held back, sucking me in like quicksand, I
need time. I need to decipher this, like these lines
on my palms.
I need sleep, rest, time away.
I just wanna cross the finish line.
I'm sick of being dressed up and
worshipping these FUCKING idols,
leave me hanging there and let me enjoy
the smell of these withered roses,
because today I am an atheist.
Today, I'll believe in no-one.
I'll see through black and white words,
never allowing these amber eyes to
contemplate
something else,
that'll dress me up...
and control me
and control me.
_______________________________________________________
| A |
Astonishing |
| S |
Spunky |
| H |
Hardworking |
| L |
Light |
| E |
Energetic |
| Y |
Yummy |
_____________________________
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| Ok, so I've been without internet for a while now.
I'm grounded for about another week, and we're moving. So yes so much fun stuff.
But besides that, I've wondered about some pretty interesting things.
Why is my school's building : 142?
When there are 2 and a half schools?
Caroll Gardens, BCS, and BNS?
Where is the 142? *quizzical look* | | |
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Yay for my new bracelettes and choker. Me and Tina finally went out to the Village yesterday and got a couple of things including a TOOL T shirt. I'll take some pics and put them up later. By the end of the night I found myself with Tina and her friend Patty looking for earthworms and watching where I was walking as not to step on one. Hey, and if we found the longest and fattest one we got something really really big and cool, yeah Patty made that contest, and she was the judge...she won. Twice. Yes, me and Tina never stood a chance.
I got home uber late last night, mom thought I'd died and had me call Tina to see if she got home safetly. Obviously she did, she lived like 5 blocks away from the fucking stations. Yesterday was just a cool-a-rific day. I got a choker too, and some necklaces ++a pin that says " I hate People" fun stuff really.
The End.
PS. NEW PICS LATER. | | |
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